Failure
12 months of failures
As a freelancer — especially as a technical writer — I’m familiar with failing. Clients rejecting my projects, editors giving heavy feedback or criticizing my work, proposals getting turned down. That’s fine… it’s part of the game, and I’ve gotten used to it.
At the same time, failure in my personal life hits differently. In this case, it seems to have a completely different impact on my day and overall mood.
The past twelve months have been the most challenging of my adult life, and I’ve decided to share all my failures with the public. There should be no shame in being open about failing, making poor decisions, or regretting choices afterward.
This isn’t a story of how these mistakes made me a millionaire or anything like that. It’s just me, being honest about my past.
Here’s a list of the failures, bad calls, and challenges I experienced over the last grueling, tumultuous, and sometimes downright rough 12 months:
- My grandpa, the person I was closest to and most grateful for, passed away. I couldn’t truly mourn him because I was also dealing with the final hours (yes, hours) of a toxic relationship.
- My first relationship, with the person I thought was the love of my life, ended badly. It was just another toxic relationship like many others. Nothing special or unique. After finally finding a way out, I had to start piecing together my personal life again. It’s been tough.
- I was fired by one of my most important clients through a standard email where they just changed my name. We’d been working together for almost two years, and I’d only ever received positive feedback during that time. I still don’t know why they decided to end the collaboration.
- The local government in my town never really responded to my proposal to start a club for young people who wanted to practice languages. It was the first time I’d been truly interested in a volunteer project, but it turned out to be wasted time.
- I found out I have celiac disease, and my intestines are in pretty bad shape. I can’t no longer eat pasta or pizza — an especially big deal as an Italian. My socializing options are now close to zero.
- I transferred all my investments from one broker to another. The new broker was supposed to be the best in my country and one of the best in Europe. It was a long, complicated process that required me to change some of the ETFs in my portfolio because they weren’t available in the new broker’s ETF offering. The whole process cost me thousands of dollars, and I couldn’t access 25% of my money for over three months.
- For the first time, I failed to learn a new language. I tried to learn French for nearly two years, but with no real progress or consistency. This summer, I sadly gave up.
- I had two casual hookups, and I regret both.
- I had some of the worst dates of my life. One lasted less than 40 minutes, and I regret not ending it sooner.
- I didn’t really click with any of the dozens of people I met this year. Twelve months later, my contact list is still as short as ever. (One of my goals for 2024 was to meet new people and make new friends.)
- I was ghosted by countless people.
- I had to pay a fine from the Italian government of over $4,000 due to a small, silly mistake I made back in 2021 (and never rectified).
- I was turned down for one of the few work projects I’ve ever been excited about. The client had no budget.
- My English didn’t improve at all. If anything, it got worse.
I’m fine, and I’m not looking for sympathy. I’ve never felt so serene in my life, despite everything that happened. None of it was truly life-changing or catastrophic — just a local minimum point in the graph of the function of my life.
I just wanted to get it off my chest. Sharing failures can be so liberating…
